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If you’re having dreams about your boyfriend cheating on you with someone else, you might be waking up confused, worried, or even just intrigued. Dreaming about your partner cheating is actually fairly common, but why are you having these dreams in the first place? Do they mean anything deeper? And how do you get them to stop? Don't worry—this article will walk you through why you may be having dreams about your boyfriend cheating and how to put an end to them.

Section 1
Section 1 of 2:
Why am I having dreams about my boyfriend cheating?

  1. 1
    You're feeling insecure about your relationship. If you aren’t particularly confident in how things are going with your boyfriend, these dreams may reflect the way you feel. If the two of you haven’t been spending a ton of time together, or you’ve been arguing a lot, the uncertainty about your relationship may be spilling over into your dream life.[1]
    • Keep in mind that these feelings may be subconscious. You may be totally confident in your relationship when you’re awake, but deep down kind of nervous about where you stand.
  2. 2
    You've been cheated on before. If you’ve been a victim of infidelity in the past, you may be having these dreams because you’ve still got some subconscious pain to deal with. If this is the case, working through your problems may put this problem to rest.[2]
    • Seeing a mental health professional and discussing your previous relationships can help you find closure here.
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  3. 3
    You're nervous about being abandoned. If you tend to get worried about being alone, or you get kind of nervous about friends or family not caring about you, a fear of abandonment may be triggering these dreams. If you have anxiety surrounding your boyfriend breaking up with you or disappearing, it might trigger these dreams.[3]
  4. 4
    There may not be a deeper reason. If you aren’t having any serious problems in your relationship and you don’t actually suspect your boyfriend of cheating, your dreams probably don't mean anything at all! It's normal to have bad dreams sometimes, and they don't always mean something is wrong.[4]
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Section 2
Section 2 of 2:
How to Stop Having Dreams About Your Boyfriend Cheating

  1. 1
    Reduce your daily stress. If you’re dealing with a huge amount of stress in your daily life, it’s going to spill over into your dream life. You can’t necessarily control the content of your dreams, but you can definitely influence the tone and energy of your dreams by relaxing. Do your best to destress every day and engage in calming and relaxing activities whenever you get home from work or school.[5] You might:
    • Meditate for at least 15 minutes every day. There’s a ton of evidence that meditating can improve your overall physical and emotional health while helping you relax.[6]
    • Exercise daily. Not only will regular exercise help you regulate your feelings and reduce stress, but it will improve your daily mood as well![7]
    • Engage in some self-care. Go for a professional massage, throw on some tunes and take a long walk, or take a long bubble bath. Whatever puts you at ease counts![8]
    • Go to bed so that you get at least 8 hours of sleep a night. You might be skipping out on sleep if you’re having scary dreams like this, but do your best to rest. Your daily life will be so much calmer.[9]
  2. 2
    Focus on your work, school, or hobbies. If you’re walking around focusing on what these dreams mean all day, or you’re obsessing over whether your boyfriend is cheating or not, infidelity is going to be on the top of your mind when you go to bed. Focus your attention elsewhere! Focus on other important things in your life and just try to stop thinking about these dreams. They might go away on their own.[10]
    • The trick here though is to actually invest in what you do throughout the day. If you just try to distract yourself but in the back of your mind you’re still thinking about these dreams, you might be more likely to have these dreams again.[11]
  3. 3
    Read a good book before going to bed. People have a tendency to dream about whatever they think about before bed. Pick a book that will hold your attention and read right before bed. You could also listen to an audiobook. Not only will you get your daily reading in, but you may just dream about the plot of the book instead of your boyfriend.[12]
  4. 4
    Try journaling about your day without mentioning your boyfriend. At the end of the day, break out the pen and paper and write about your day. Do a little self-reflecting, or simply let your mind wander a bit as you write about how you’re feeling. Try to focus on the non-romantic experiences of the day. This will give you more to think about and help you settle your thoughts before bed.[13]
    • Even if you do have a negative dream about something bad that happened during your day, it may be less likely to be about your boyfriend cheating.
  5. 5
    Reminisce over fond memories you have with your boyfriend. If there’s a possibility you’re going to dream about your boyfriend, why not make the dream positive? As you’re lying in bed, think back to a favorite memory you have with your boyfriend. It could be a romantic date, a memorable late-night conversation, or even the first time you met.[14]
    • By focusing on positive memories, you’ll be more likely to have happy dreams about him.
  6. 6
    Investigate any genuine cheating suspicions if you actually have them. There are a variety of reasons you might be dreaming about your boyfriend cheating, and you may not actually think they’re being dishonest. If you do actually think they’re cheating, getting to the bottom of it should put these dreams to rest.[15]
    • Ask yourself, “What evidence do I actually have?” If there’s no actual indication that your boyfriend is cheating, you may just be self-conscious, or nervous about the state of the relationship.
    • If there is evidence, try to work through how valid or meaningful it is. Have they been hiding their phone from you? Have they changed their behavior or appearance recently? Are they disappearing for a time or failing to engage with you?[16]
    • Sit down and talk to your boyfriend about this—whether there is or isn’t any evidence they’re cheating. Either present your evidence and confront them, or let them know you’re having some fears about what’s going in the relationship.
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      1. Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.
      2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201505/how-stop-thinking-about-someone
      3. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-control-dreams/
      4. Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.
      5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201505/how-stop-thinking-about-someone
      6. Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.
      7. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201812/10-signs-your-spouse-is-cheating

      About This Article

      Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT
      Written by:
      Marriage & Family Therapist
      This article was written by Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Samantha Fox is a Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in New York, New York. With over a decade of experience, Samantha specializes in relationship, sexuality, identity, and family conflicts. She also advises on life transitions for individuals, couples, and families. She holds both a Master’s degree and a Marriage and Family Therapy License. Samantha is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Narrative Therapy. This article has been viewed 3,095 times.
      1 votes - 20%
      Co-authors: 5
      Updated: January 11, 2022
      Views: 3,095
      Categories: Relationships
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,095 times.

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